Funny Math Jokes
There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow down again once he’d got over it. One day, he took a passenger, who was understandably unnerved by his driving style, and asked him why he went so fast over junctions. The statistics student replied, “Well, statistically speaking, you are far more likely to have an accident at a junction, so I just make sure that I spend less time there.”
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A physicist and engineer and a mathematician were sleeping in a hotel room when a fire broke out in one corner of the room. Only the engineer woke up he saw the fire, grabbed a bucket of water and threw it on the fire and the fire went out, then he filled up the bucket again and threw that bucketfull on the ashes as a safety factor, and he went back to sleep. A little later, another fire broke out in a different corner of the room and only the physicist woke up. He went over measured the intensity of the fire, saw what material was burning and went over and carefully measured out exactly 2/3 of a bucket of water and poured it on, putting out the fire perfectly; the physicist went back to sleep. A little later another fire broke out in a different corner of the room. Only the mathematician woke up. He went over looked at the fire, he saw that there was a bucket and he noticed that it had no holes in it; he turned on the faucet and saw that there was water available. He, thus, concluded that there was a solution to the fire problem and he went back to sleep.
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It is often cited that there are half as many divorces as marriages in the US, so one concludes that average marriages have a 50% chance of ending by divorce. While I was a graduate student, among my peers there were twice as many divorces as marriages, leading us to conclude that average marriages would end twice…
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An engineer and a mathematician shared an apartment. Their kitchen was equiped with an electric stove, and every morning someone had placed a pot of water on the back-right burner so they could make coffee. They both knew what knob turned on this burner. One morning the engineer came into the kitchen and found the pot was on the front-left burner. He got out the stove’s schematics and followed the wiring diagram and finally figured out which knob turned on this burner and he then used that knob and made the coffee. The next moring the mathematician came in and also found the pot on the front-left burner. He moved the pot to the back-right burner, thereby reducing the problem to one which he had already solved.
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A mathematician, statistician and accountant were finalist for a position as VP in a large corporation. The hiring committee asked them all the same last question:
The mathematician was first.”How much is 500 plus 500 ?” , they asked”1000″ he replied without hesitation.”Thank you”, they dismissed him.
Next the statistician.”How much is 500 plus 500?”"On the average, 1000 with 95 % confidence” replied the statistician”Thank you”, they dismissed him.
Next the accountant.”How much is 500 plus 500?”"What would you like it to be?” responded the accountant.They hired the accountant.
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